Monthly Archives: June 2015

These Are My Daawgs

So in my last couple posts here and here, I have mentioned JackJoey.

jackjoey3Many of my fans have asked…just who is JackJoey?

They’re my daawgs.

I think they are both…hold on.

WHAT!??! What do daawgs say??? Daddy…I’m kinda in the middle of…

FINE. Daawgs say woof woof woof.

Sorry…that was my Dad asking what daawgs say. I swear keeping that guy entertained is a full time job. Exhausting. <shaking my head>

Anyway…where was I?

jackOh yeah. JackJoey.

jackJoeyThere’s actually two of them. Jack is a Golden-Doodle (he’s over there ===>>) and Joey is a Golden Retriever (that’s her <<===).

But you hardly ever see them apart. EVER. Where one goes…the other goes too. Even in the picture of “her”…he’s hanging around.

Sooooo, it’s just easier to say JackJoey than separate their names.

Hey! I’m a man of few words.

I think they’re both pretty old. Maybe 12 and 11???? So in dog years that’s 11. Times. 7.

That makes them…let’s see…carry the 1…and…

…I dunno…old?

Mommy and Daddy say they probably won’t be around much longer. I’m not really sure what that means? Where are they gonna go?

They’re pretty good daawgs though. They bark and growl really mean when people walk by the house. Or when someone drops off a package…which reminds me…I should be getting a package today…I’ll have to keep an eye out.

Well…Jack barks and growls. Joey just stands there beside him wagging her tail. I think I’ve only heard her bark once or twice. Like me…she’s a girl of few words.

I’m not really sure what the barking is about. Maybe to sound tough? I guess???

Believe me. He’s not tough. One time…Dad took him on a run…he lost a toe.

Jack did…not Daddy. I think Dad looses marbles…at least that what Mommy says.

And another time. He was playing in the snow. And cut his foot. How do cut your foot…on the snow?

I guess he should only be allowed to run around in a pillow factory. Never mind. Bad idea. He’d probably choke on fev-fers they put in the pill-wos.

Anywho. Both of them are really good to me. They don’t bite me if I get mad and accidentally jackjoey2pull their tail. They let me pet them. They take the blame for eating all the cookies. They hang out under the kitchen table so I don’t have to clean up if I drop something.

And most importantly…they always love me and I always love them.

Although they don’t like getting their pictures taken like I do. This one was like corralling cats. But at least I got everyone to smile.

Ok. Well I have to go for now.

Daddy asked me to come along with him to run some errands this morning. Probably needs my advice on some real estate stuff???

And I have to go see the dentist (I’ll tell you about that later).

But now you know my daawgs JackJoey.

See ya ta-mah-wo.

Hi My Name’s Alec…

toys2…and my parents are addicted to buying me stuffed BAY-bees.

I don’t think you understand. I mean it…you REALLY don’t understand.

It seems everywhere we go…there’s a store with stuff BAY-bees…and we have to stop and get one. Or two…if they’re on sale.

Mommy’s big on sales.

And not just sometimes. ALL. THE. TIME. Cray-cray.

And whenever we go somewhere there is a BAY-bee store. We ALWAYS have to go to THAAAAT store first.

Even before we eat. Unbelievable?

Good news? I have an incredible memory.

So if we’ve been there before. I remember EXACTLY where the BAY-bee store is…so we don’t waste a lot of time looking. We can make a BAY-bee line straight there.

BAY-bee line…get it..bee line..BAY-bee line…haha…I crack me up.

And. Even if we haven’t been there before. I have a pretty good nose for finding the store.

I really am a time saver. You’re welcome Mommy and Daddy.

toys1And now it’s getting worse. They figured out you can buy these things online. So they have book marks on the compuker.

You know…book marks for the sites that sell BAY-bees.

And you should see the shopping carts in some of these stores. I think one cart has about $60,000 worth of BAY-bees!

$60,000! WHO DOES THAT?!?!

So far I’ve held them off on pulling THAT trigger. Sad. <insert cocked to the side, pathetic head shake here>

But if you think that’s bad. Wait!…no Wait!

In order to keep up the charade of this “little” addiction my parents have.

I pick one or two BAY-bees each night to sleep in bed with me.

It’s usually different every night. I don’t want to hurt any feelings.

Mom and Dad think it’s random. But I have a system. You know…to keep everyone happy.

toys3One last thing…and then I have to go.

(This is a tough subject to talk about…if you’ve never lived with an addict…or two…choke…holding back tears)

What I find the most amazing is that I don’t have they haven’t bought me any duplicates.They really are pretty sharp…those two.

Sometimes JackJoey gets a hold of one and…well…let’s just say…it ain’t pretty.

One time. We came home and it was a stuff-pocalypse.

When that happens. They insist on going out and getting a replacement immediately.

Well that’s enough for today.

Thank-you-you’re-welcome.

See ya ta-mah-wo.

 

 

 

 

This Is Embarrassing

storm cloudsI’m gonna share an embarrassing story. So I need you to promise that you won’t tell anyone.

Mom and Dad are scared to death during storms.

<<<====Like this one.

It’s true.

It’s embarrassing really…you can imagine. I mean two grown ups…scared…

Rain’s ok. But when the thunder and lightening start they get hysterical.

That’s not the worst part.

When it gets really bad…they can’t sleep alone. They make me sleep in between them…so they can sleep.

Of course. I make it look like I’m scared…and it’s my idea…just so they don’t feel bad.

king-size-bed-setI’m not gonna lie. Their bed is very comfortable. And it’s a HUGE king sized bed.

But it gets really small when there are 3 of us in there.

And it gets even smaller when Jack and Joey dog pile on.

So if you’re keeping track. Two adults, two dogs, and me.

I get it. I mean…I understand why they’d be scared.

You just never know when the thunder’s gonna hit. And it’s loud. REALLY loud.

jungle bookNot only that…sometimes it shakes the house. Like the elephant patrol in The Jungle Book. FORWARD…MARCH. COMPANY…HALT. MARCH. HALT….

Plus. It seems to come whenever it feels like.

Honestly. For someone who is sensitive to loud sounds…it can be scary.

So don’t be too hard on my folks when you see ’em next time.

I’m just glad I am here with Mommy and Daddy so they can get some sleep.

I have to go now. I just got a new Rug Rats video…

See ya ta-mah-wo.

 

Photo Credits

Storm Clouds

Bed

Jungle Book

Photo Bomb

A little secret?

fraggleA skill I have the rivals my farming …is my photography.

I am REEEEEALLY good with a camera.

Here’s a little sample on the right…notice the lighting…the juxtaposition of scary and funny…the mood…

Uncanny really.

The fact is. Some people have an eye for it. And some people don’t.

I happen to be one of the have’s.

I’m pretty sure I get my sillz from my Mommy. She’s good with a camera too. See!

Dad? Well…at least he’s pretty. I mean everyone says I look like him. Sooo….

Anyway. Mommy takes pictures of people a lot. In fact, we took some last night.

Daddy and I went with her. She likes to consult me about angles and such.

I had to take Daddy to get a dwink and candy. He was being C-R-A-B-B-Y crabby…it was kinda late…so it wasn’t really his fault.

After the candy run. We went back to where Mommy was and helped her finish up.

IMG_7938I also help her take pictures of houses. Not really sure why anyone would do that? Pretty boring subjects. But…whatever???

See what I mean???

This is a picture of my friend Lemon’s house.

Great picture…and I’m sure someone will want to buy her house because of it…but booooor-ring.

Back to me. After all that’s why your here…isn’t it?

One of the things I’ve picked up from watching Mommy take the pictures is this <write this down>.

It’s not as much about the subject…as it is the presentation.

pictureExhibit A (on the left). You’ll notice a picture of a picture frame. WITH a picture of a picture frame. Of…wait for for it…a picture I took from a moooovie.

See what I mean…you can’t teach that. You have it…or you don’t.

Sorry Dad. Mommy and me have it…and you don’t.

But I guess you’re good at…well…oh…you mow the lawn pretty good.

Here’s the thing. If you’re not good at taking pictures…don’t be hard on yourself.

I’ve been taking pictures as long as I can remember. So. Naturally. I’m gonna be better than most.

As they say. Don’t hate the player…

Although. MOST of my work doesn’t make to print. Because someone <insert quite whisper Mommy and Daddy> doesn’t let me print whenever I want. Jealous much???

Sad really.

Buuuut every-now-and-then I let them buy me some ink for my printer. I think it makes them happy to see me printing.

I think that because they always say “WoooooW! Look at ALL those pretty pictures you printed. I can’t wait until we get to go back to the store to buy more ink and paper.”

I know! You’re welcome.

Ok. Well…that’s all for now. I have to get back-to-werk.

See ya ta-mah-wo.

#freethearts

 

My Green Thumb

A lot of people don’t know this about me. But I’m a bit of a gween fumb.

Yep. I can grow juuuuust about anything. I’ve been doing it since I was little. So…I’m pretty good at it.

farmMommy and Daddy made this box for for my farm. I plant things there. And water them.

Mostly corn. Radishes. Watermelon. Tomatoes. Oh…and cucumbers.

Funny thing? Except for fwensh-fwrys…I hate vegetables. But for some reason…if they come from the ground…I’ll eat ’em.

Ok. That’s not completely true. I’ll take a bite of a radish. If it’s good enough for a Fraggle…it’s good enough for me.

It’s aw-rite though. Luckily not much grows anyway. I don’t understand?

I’ve planted about 50 packages of seeds in there…you’d think something would grow???

fly trapBut that’s not my favorite plant. My favorites are carnivorous plants. Like this Venus Fly Trap…that’s my latest victim subject.

stock-illustration-17088529-carnivorous-plant-cartoonDon’t believe the box though. They look nothing like that.

Anyway…that’s a whole ‘nother story.

Another thing about these carnivorous plant…THEY ARE TEMPERAMENTAL.

I mean I water them. And water them. And water them. I move them around the house. I talk to them.

And still…nothing.

You’d think they’d be happy. They don’t have to sit in the same place all day long like the radishes. I move them from pot-to-pot-to-pot…

But no. After a couple weeks. They die.

Next thing you know. I’m dragging one of my peeps down to the store to pick up another one. Or ordering them on the com-puker.

Dad and Mom say they know way more about these plants than they’d like.

Not sure what that means. They’re certainly not helping me keep them alive. I don’t think I’ve seen them water ’em once. And they’re not the ones moving them to a new pot every-other day.

Well…I’ve got to go with Daddy. He needs help looking at a house. Probably wants some free landscaping advice. It’s a never ending battle…

I’ll make him buy me lunch.

 

Don’t worry. I’ll keep you in the loop. Once I “crack the code” on the vena-fwy-twap…I’ll make sure my fans know.

Until then. See ya ta-mah-wo.

 

Top two pictures are mine…last one…I got here.

 

A Day In The Life Of Me

One of the most often asked questions I get from my fans is “Alec, what do you do all day?”.

I’m not sure why they wanna know?  But. Instead of telling you…I thought I’d show.

scheduleOk. I’m totally kidding…that’s not mine.

All that stuff is sil-wee. And, frankly, I’m not sure why anyone would waste their time with it.

<insert shaking my head in pathetic wonderment here>

As I mentioned on my I’m Alec page (you should check it out if you haven’t already)…I am a 20-something dude.

That means I don’t go to skooool anymore.

Instead. I’m what you’d call a lifestyle entrepreneur (I made that word up…it means I organize, manage, and assume risks in my business affairs from home).

So here goes…my back-to-wook day:

Mommy and Daddy get up ridiculously early. I’m not gonna lie…it’s a little annoying. I pretty much get whenever I feel like it. I need my beauty sleep…this doesn’t just happen by accident.

After I get up. I usually go down stairs. Have some bwekfest. Then head into the office. I have two here at home. One, I share with Mom. And the other with Dad. Its a pretty good arrangement…but they can get annoyingly loud.

Then I’ll catch up see what Wy-in King is up to…THAT is one crazy cat I’d like to hang out with! Annnd maybe do a little online shopping. Do you have any idea how hard it is to sift through the thousands of available videos? Staggering.

That pretty much fills up my morning. Of course I don’t do all that at once. I take breaks. Walk around downstairs.

treadmillI’ve heard people call it “pacing”? I don’t know. We drive by places where people stand on machines like these one looking out a window…and they pay for it. What the…? I do it for free downstairs.

Then I’ll get a quick nap in until around 11 or 12. That’s when Mommy makes me lunch…I love pizza rolls.

After lunch I’ll do some more work. Usually catching up on the latest Star Wars episode…or maybe some Fraggles. Oh…I also run up and check in on Mommy and Daddy…just to make sure they’re staying on task.

After a long day. We’ll have some dinner.

And then. I’ll go back up to the office and do a little more back-to-werk. Or I’ll take the parents to look at some houses for a client.

I typically wind down around 7:30 or 8. And head up stairs and ni-nite-go-to-shweep.

So there you have it. My day.

As you can see…pretty busy…lots of important stuff.

I’ll talk to you later…I have to go take a bath now.

 

Credits:

Tread Mill Image Credit

 

Editor’s Note:

Sil-wee = Silly

Back-to-werk is what he says when sitting down at the computer because Tami tells him she has to get back to work.

Wy-in King = Lion King…he’s very into that now.